FML (feat. The Dentist)


Kanye finally releases TLOP and The Dentist drops a bomb and fucks my life up…

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Date? Date! DATE?!


I wanted to Tweet this at the time but couldn’t on account of the whole secret lifestyle thing so here goes: Is going out for nachos with the person you are banging and eating pizza with considered a date? Asking for a friend…

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Novacane and Sex and Costco Pizza


For the record, I was never really afraid of the dentist, I just felt like they were money-grubbing shysters who would do anything to bleed you dry; I should have stuck to that…. I also didn’t realize there is a difference between novocaine and “novacane” which according to Urban Dictionary means “numb to pleasures and feelings cause you can have it all” as in “Novacane for bitches nowadays”… I thought it was just that drug the dentist gives you but this fits too.

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Interlude: ASSembling a Universe


I wanted to call this entry “Building a Universe” but I kept singing “Building a Mystery” by Canadian treasure Sarah McLachlan and chose to use the word “assemble” instead for the pun about getting some ass and also throwing a nod to The Avengers and the successful cinematic universe that Disney and Marvel have created.

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