I wanted to Tweet this at the time but couldn’t on account of the whole secret lifestyle thing so here goes: Is going out for nachos with the person you are banging and eating pizza with considered a date? Asking for a friend…
So Dentist Appointment Wednesday was approaching after the first house call and general hearts and smiles and stupid happy faces everywhere because I was so lovestoned. This would be the first time I’d been out with him in public and the first time I was on a first date in years. Mind you, I know the whole “first date” thing is sort of null and void since I filled his the first day we met. Plus, was this really a date? I had awkwardly asked him out and he replied with a “Sure”.
During this time I was reminded of Blink-182’s song “First Date” which I had been listening to nearly on repeat since I met The Dentist a couple of months back. “Do you like my stupid hair?/Would you guess that I didn’t know what to wear?” This lyric was running very true to life as I was stressing way more than I should have about what to wear to this thing… I mean really, it was just discounted nachos at a sports bar. If you haven’t already guessed, I’m super neurotic and definitely don’t believe in myself at all. So what did I do? I Skyped with Jeanie so that she could help me pick out something to wear.
See, the problem was for me that I wanted to look good but I also didn’t want to look like I was trying too hard. I tend to overthink things. So that is why the Skype conversation took nearly three hours. That and Jeanie and I can banter like nobody’s business. We eventually agreed upon an outfit that was both part “bro” part business casual. I was going to wear some chinos, with a blue plaid shirt, unbuttoned revealing my “Cinco De Drinko” novelty t-shirt
Three hours on Skype with some popcorn and a beer even (on my end, not Jeanie’s I don’t think? She can tell her side of the story later on as I have asked her to write a little insert into this entry). After all that, the next day; date day, The Dentist texts me and cancels. His friend wanted to see a movie and she was getting off earlier than expected and that was the only time that worked for her. (Bitch). He sort of jokingly suggested we could all go for supper and I was not sure how to respond to that. Naturally, I consulted Jeanie.
She told me I couldn’t third wheel a friend date even though the friend was sort of third wheeling mine. I said that to The Dentist and he said he didn’t really want to explain to his friend that we were “hanging out” so quickly after his break-up and didn’t want to raise questions. That answered one of my questions, though. He said we were “hanging out” which I think is what the kids call “dating” now? So. Was this hang out in public a date? I still didn’t know, and I guess it didn’t matter.
The Dentist ended up coming over for the night after the movie so I did get to see him and our Wednesday streak was not broken. We also ended up hanging out the next night and watched Happy Endings in bed. My favorite show with the person who was quickly becoming my favorite person.
We did end up going on that date the following Wednesday. I wore the outfit that Jeanie helped pick out so all that time was not wasted. (Though anytime I get to banter with her is not a waste). I was like a teenager going on his first date. All day I kept thinking about it, worrying that he might cancel. I went on about my day as best I could but I worked a little harder at the gym and listened to some suggestive Usher songs to get in the mood as well as some Justin Timberlake while I got ready to get some confidence and swagger. I was nervous which was silly but I was afraid that someone might see us and wonder who he was. Then that made me feel bad and guilty because I had an adorable dentist who wanted to take me out for nachos. We would all want that, wouldn’t we?
So we get some beers and we are chatting and then he drops a bombshell. “So I’m moving at the end of next month…”
I’ll leave that there for now and I’m going to do something I haven’t done before. I’ve invited Jeanie to have her own sex and pizza… I mean her own forum to discuss the events she was involved in:
Meanwhile, whoever said women take forever to get ready while men don’t deserves to be drug out into the street and shot. I mean, whoever paints a whole gender with a broad brush deserves a stern talking to, but after three shirts being cycled through several different button up combos, I was pretty sure that old stereotype had no grounding in reality. Anxious people take forever to get ready; we’ll leave it at that.
Now, for the record, I thought any combo would be fine. I was basically approving most combos (I never approve a snap-back hat, but I can’t police bros) because it was my opinion that The Dentist should either a) like anything because it isn’t the garment, it is who is wearing it or b) get to steppin’. However, to make sure a bro doesn’t lose his mind, I was up for a skype session that involved many shirts and no beers at my end. I wasn’t the one going on the maybe date/maybe not date, after all, who needed a drink? I had a colouring book, actually, because I’m twelve and my main approach was to figure out which combo he liked best and go from there—I didn’t need to see the outfits in that case, so…why not get some therapeutic colouring in, right?
Anyway, after yet another case of the ‘is he/isn’t he’ with The Dentist and his intentions, I basically was on board with my bro just being comfortable and wearing whatever he liked because damn it, it wasn’t about the other guy, it was about his own comfort and confidence. Then again, you try explaining that to a guy who hasn’t been on a date in a while, and hasn’t been out in public with a dude at all because he’s on the DL. Tell me how it goes, because I got a big ol’ brick wall in that area. Once it was decided that the shirt combo was agreeable, banter was a bit easier. Even if the event fell through (one of several points against The Dentist prior to the moving bombshell that would take ages to really recover from—a year and counting), it was at least nice to get to talk a bro up, even if someone else was about to knock him way the Hell down.
AND as an added bonus here is some of my original artwork that I created when trying to decide on what to wear: