Real Friends


The Dentist makes a house call and I make breakfast…

It seems that my stories are now lining up to events as they occurred exactly a year ago. Two days ago was Old Christmas Day and as much as I tried not to be, I was haunted by images of pizza, sex, and Star Wars Christmas crackers. On top of that, I’ve been currently dealing with some other relationship sadness and drama with some characters that are not yet introduced but will eventually be addressed here. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves, shall we? Let’s go back to January 2016:

The Dentist changed upon his return. He was much more open with me; showing me pictures of the murder mystery New Year’s party he attended and saying that I should meet him at a bar this weekend and we became Facebook friends. On top of all this, there was a real world actual date happening the following Wednesday. Jeanie believed (at the time… she definitely doesn’t have a favorable opinion of him anymore) that this was because The Dentist was no longer cheating and he could be more open with his life and the people in it.

So I mentioned earlier that the Wet Blanket went off the rails right? So I come home from my Old Christmas Day sleepover to find out that he had left town to go seek help so I was left feeling mad at him, concerned and also confused about these recent Dentist Developments. I had a lot of time to think, and by think I mean I got super neurotic and worried about pretty much everything that was happening in my life. I was trying to approach the New Year with some hope, though; a new hope if you will. Sure, my best friend had betrayed me, was moving out and left me sort of in a lurch but things with The Dentist were progressing in a way I hadn’t expected but definitely welcomed, I was definitely over Lilith, I was only sporadically embarrassingly texting The Kid and saying how much I missed him (that is actually progress because I really don’t handle rejection well), and Kid Jr. was thousands of miles and an ocean away so I didn’t have to deal with that anymore. Most importantly, the cat was out of the bag regarding my secret Bromo Vigilante life thanks to the Wet Blanket and my friend Dave was really supportive and had some very kind words.

So the first week of 2016 was a whirlwind but the weekend was approaching and the Wet Blanket was still out of town so I decided to ask The Dentist over for the night. I was really nervous about this because I felt that if he saw my modest rented condo (aka glorified apartment) that I shared with someone else he might think less of me. I also worried that he would take one long hard look at my superhero and other nerd décor and think less of me. Jeanie was quick to point out that he had already known me for nearly two months and definitely knew I was a big nerd.

I had several hours to worry about this because first I was going out for supper to celebrate the birth of my dear friend Penny along with Dave. This was a welcome distraction from the current personal drama climate we were all involved in (the Wet blanket had blabbed to them, Penny knew already… I’ll write about telling people later on). The three of us had been pretty close for a while and used to get together and watch Arrow and I had dubbed our tripod “Team Arrow”.

Before supper, Kanye West released a new song entitled “Real Friends” that was a throwback to his older albums and little did I know would end up becoming a very important song for me in 2016. So, despite some very huge changes, I was riding sort of high on new music from Yeezus, cemented friendships, and the possibility of what might happen with the Dentist.

Have I mentioned the puns that come along with being involved with a dentist? Oral exams, dentist appointments, fluoride and house calls all take on a very different meaning.

After a few restaurant setbacks, Team Arrow was eating and drinking and discussing The Dentist. Sadly, Dave thought he was the only person who was in on this secret but Penny knew about it already. After supper and some drinks, it was off to a joint birthday party for Penny and another girl where I proceeded to drink more. I am sort of a socially awkward person and even though I knew most of the people at this party, I don’t hang out with regularly so I felt like an outcast and drank faster than I should have…plus there was that house call that I was all nervous about.

Eventually, the party started to wind down and The Dentist said he would come to pick me up but the party really winded down and they all left to go out so I walked to a nearby gas station to be picked up. (I’m now being reminded of the time I questioned if I was paid for sex and also am wondering if I can add “hooker” to my resume?) The Dentist picks me up and I’m way drunker than I had realized. He is looking adorable as always and we are oddly matching with flannel shirts, except I’m dressed way more bro; mine is unbuttoned revealing a Run-DMC shirt and I’m sporting a backward hat. We get back to my apartment and I show him around and make self-deprecating jokes. Not long after we go to bed and proceed to have drunken (or I proceeded to have) sex which was a bit of a letdown. Sleeping next to him was wonderful and I actually managed to sleep this night.

The next morning, I got up and made breakfast. Now, I like to have things planned in advance and this wasn’t really something I had planned for meaning that I didn’t have much in the way of breakfast foods. I ended up using what little bacon the Wet Blanket had and mixing up some protein pancakes. This was the first time I had ever cooked breakfast for a boy that I really liked. We then laid on the couch and watched The Magic School Bus on Netflix because he loved that show as a kid. It was adorable to hear him sing along to the theme song and recite some of the lines. This was not helping my situation.

After he left, my friend Janet stopped by during some Saturday afternoon errands. I really began to appreciate all the times in comic books and superhero movies where our hero wants to tell those closest to him what is going on but can’t. I wanted to tell her about the Wet Blanket but most importantly I wanted to tell her about The Dentist that I definitely did not hate.


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