Old Christmas Day Pizza


… Entire life as I know it is shaken up…

So, The Dentist came back and after two weeks remembered I existed and said he was excited to get together again. In those two weeks, I was actually kinda, sorta getting over him (minus the fact that I kept checking to see if he had gotten engaged which completely negates what I just said about getting over him) and I kind of think that if he hadn’t written me when he did, I’d be a lot better off today. The truth is though that I wouldn’t be. I needed him because the Wet Blanket learned of my secret vigilante Bang Bro life, told other people and legit lost his mind over it which caused a lot of drama amongst our mutual friend group.  So seeing The Dentist was a very welcome distraction.

*I may write about this shitstorm of a breakdown later on… perhaps when I have run out of events to write about; just know that it sucked. I really didn’t care about losing the friendship, it was all the other stuff that came with it.*

I, of course, tried to make plans with The Dentist right away, including on the night that the WBR confronted me, so who knows what would have happened if I wasn’t home that night?! It seemed like our usual Wednesday would be the first time we would see each other in the New Year. I was very much looking forward to it and was afraid things would be canceled. The night before he wrote me and said he was getting a haircut after work (which I automatically assumed meant he was canceling) but he provided me with two options. The first would be that he would pick me up, we’d fuck and he would go for the haircut and I would take his car and get the pizza or he could get me after the haircut, have the pizza and I’d stay the night. He wanted option B and I wanted him and to be away from the roommate.

It was an awkward and stressful few days navigating the small apartment when you were sharing space with someone who completely betrayed you so I was doing my best not to be there. Wednesday rolled around and I couldn’t wait any longer, I left around supper time and decided to head to the library to start work on my course for the new semester and told The Dentist to pick me up there. He pulls up and I remember feeling so happy to see him. We stopped for the pizza and headed to his place.

I had told him about what had happened and he asked if I was OK. It was also on this drive that he told me he needed to get busier at work because it was looking like he would have to pay $80-90,000 in income tax. Yes. THAT much. That is more than three times what I make in a year. Like very close to four times… this was one of those times where I felt very inadequate and like I didn’t have anything to offer this situation.

We got to his place and had Domino’s and some wine. I just love classing up cheap ass take out with some wine, don’t you? We watched some TV and he casually drops this bomb. “So me and ____ broke up.” I’m thinking “OMG! But also, why is he telling me this?” because I really didn’t believe that he would like me too. I didn’t know what to say so my response was “Oh! Are you OK?” when I really wanted to say “Let’s be together and have a weird kid and name him Saint?!?!”

We continued hanging out and he got up and went to the kitchen. He told me he had something for me and hands me one of those Christmas crackers but in Star Wars form….STAR WARS!!!! I have never actually had one of these things but have always seen people wearing those paper crowns in pictures and remember the episode of Mr. Bean where he caused an explosion with a souped up one.

I opened it and there was a very simple trivia question and some stickers along with the crown, which he took and placed on my head. This might be pathetic but it was the most romantic thing that anyone’s ever done for me. I sadly play this moment over in my head quite a bit and I remember how adorable he looked in his crown. And then we had sex for what felt like a couple of hours but in a good way…not an “Oh dear Lord will this thing end?!” kind of way.

After the sex marathon, I started writing Jeanie about these new developments. She told me I needed to ask him out. I said that I just didn’t think that there was any way that he liked me like that but she pointed out that he just gave me a Star Wars Christmas cracker and reminded me that the boy I liked was now single and seemingly liked me. She was giving me a pep talk and compared herself to the Genie in Aladdin when he told Al to “bee himself”. I told her about how he didn’t know what Cinco De Mayo was and that we had heard an ad for a local restaurant for Cinco De Mayo Wednesdays, the same day we normally hang out. She kept saying how apt that was and how I needed to go for it.

I decided I would but in the morning because I didn’t want to ruin the evening in case he said no which I was convinced would happen. We ended up watching We’re The Millers and banged some more and finally went to bed. We both had discovered that we snore so he gave me a snore strip and put it on my nose (which was more evidence for Jeanie that he indeed liked me). I did not sleep a wink that night. I kept thinking about how I would ask him out and what might happen. Plus I still wanted to get some so I woke him up for more sex which still didn’t knock me out.

The time came and I found myself in the same situation I’d been in before Christmas where I needed to say something but wasn’t sure if I could or would. Would I? This time, I would….but in a super awkward neurotic way that I’m sure only I can do. As he was bringing me to the gym I said: “So um, pizza is great and all but how about since you finally know what Cinco De Mayo is how about we go to Don Cherry’s for Cinco De Mayo Wednesday?”

He said, “There’s a Don Cherry’s here?”

“Well, it’s called The Big’s now but I hate change and just can’t call it that…”


Sure. SURE?! What did this mean? Was it a date? I said, “Well I guess I’ll see you next Wednesday?” He told me I’d see him before that. I ran home after the gym and told Jeanie the news and expressed my confusion over whether or not this was a date. Thank Yeezus for Jeanie.


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