Netflix & Chili


When you are nervous about trying new food but want to impress the bro you like…

Yes. Chili would be “new food” to me but I already mentioned I am/(was?) picky AF, but I’m getting ahead of myself here. Let’s treat this intro like when they do that thing in TV shows where they show their character in some sticky situation (pun NOT INtended) and then it flashes “x number of hours/days earlier” and they go back and show the events that lead to said situation. So, last we left our hero (aka me), things were back on with The Kid and I was feeling on top of the world (because I had been on top of him?) Things were so good in fact that another Saturday night hang was planned.

I had to cleverly push some people and plans into certain directions in order for this to happen, though. My wet blanket of a roommate was considering going out of town for Thanksgiving weekend so I was very supportive of this and my good buddy was trying to make plans with me after I tried to make plans with him earlier in the week. I suggested Friday night knowing I had plans on Saturday and he said he had a date Friday and wanted to do Saturday… that wouldn’t work because I had a date on Saturday…which I felt like I couldn’t tell anyone about. Luckily his date was switched to Saturday as well. Friday night I hung out with the wet blanket, my good buddy and another best friend/seemingly adopted sister and got pretty drunk. She ended up staying the night and so in the morning I made us breakfast all while trying to push her out of my apartment so I could clean and get ready for The Kid.

It was supposed to rain heavily that afternoon and I had to go to the liquor store and get some beer for us but I didn’t want to ask my friend for a ride (she really needs a name but I can’t think of one yet…) because I didn’t want her questioning why I was buying so much beer and a kind that she would know that I don’t normally drink. (I overthink things). So instead, she went on her way and I took the bus to the liquor store. While I was waiting it began to pour. It was raining cats, dogs, lions, tigers, bears and velociraptors. I got on the bus and headed to the liquor store. I got the things I needed (beer and guacamole ingredients….the liquor store is attached to a grocery store…what a time to be alive…) and went to wait for the bus to take me home.

The rain had stopped with the lions, tigers, bears and raptors and seemed to be slacking on the cats and dogs too which was nice. To my dismay, it started to pour again and I proceeded to be drenched. In my not my smartest life choice but I had my phone out in this rain and noticed that it kept shutting itself off and turning itself on and I couldn’t get it to stop. I panicked and automatically thought I would have to go out and buy a new phone right that instant because The Kid had no other way to reach me. Luckily for my wallet and sanity, I managed to fix the phone issue.

So in an effort to not ruin my contribution to our meal by preparing it way in advance I waited to make my guacamole. He was bringing some turkey chili that he had made earlier in the week and frozen. I was nervous about this because as I mentioned I am/was (things have changed since…) very picky and I never ate beans and I wasn’t sure what else would be in his recipe. He said I could pick the beans out but he would judge me (of course, since he was a hipster…) and I really didn’t want to have him thinking I was some little bitch. I decided to make the guacamole in case I didn’t really like the chili but thankfully it turned out to be fine.

He got to my place around six or so and we proceeded to lose our clothes almost immediately. Genius didn’t thaw out the chili though so I would have had that floating in some cold water while I banged him. I had actually thought of asking if he had the chili taken out but I didn’t want to sound like a nagging wife and I just assumed that he would know to do this but you know what happens when you assume… We ended up cutting up the yogurt tub he had the extremely chilled chili in in order to get it out and into a boiling pot. We bantered while the chili boiled which was fine. Once it was sufficiently heated I threw in some cheese, hot sauce, and sour cream. The chili and the guac were a great combination and I was impressed with his cooking and my willingness to try new things if only to impress the bro I was seriously crushing on.

I think in the last post I mentioned that he was wearing floral printed joggers? YES. FLORAL. I didn’t notice when I took them off him and we went at it. It was only after we were sat on the couch that I noticed the black floral print on his black joggers. Apparently, I can’t wear camo shorts but he can wear skinny camo pants and floral printed sweats? Fucking hipsters…

I tried to watch more Happy Endings with him but he wanted “scary movies” because it was now October and he apparently died for Halloween. I conceded and we watched the Halloween episode of Happy Endings and the 2011 remake of Fright Night (which we didn’t pay too much attention to because we kept bantering). The night was going just as well as the previous week. It was getting kind of late and I didn’t have to push him out the door because the wet blanket would be home to set up shop on the couch. In fact, this was the first visit where I didn’t ask The Kid to take all his belongings, including his shoes and store them in my room in case the wet blanket arrived home unexpectedly. So with no roommates on the horizon I suggested he stay late and watch Saturday Night Live with me since The Weeknd would be the musical guest. We had a bit of time to kill so off came the clothes…

By the time we were finished, SNL had been on for nearly an hour and we were playing catch-up. (Thank God for PVRs amirite?) We got to witness Nicki Minaj performing the remix to “The Hills” with The Weeknd and I remember The Kid singing along to the lyrics “you look even better than the photos” and I jokingly said “Thanks…” to which he replied with “Well you do…” (#Swoon….). It was getting extremely late and The Kid said he had to get home because he had work in the morning.

As he was getting ready to leave, The Kid made a comment about not wanting to walk home in the cold and it escaped me before I even had time to think about it (despite that fact that I had kind of been thinking about it all week…) I said, “Well…you could always stay?” With that, he was back in the apartment and in my bed in like a minute tops. OK. What. Was. Happening? I was about to break an even bigger rule than the “no affection unless it leads to or is during sex…i.e. kissing) and jump right past the “no sleepovers or cuddling” rule. We went to bed and hooked up again before falling asleep. I had said to him that I had considered kissing him goodbye before he left but I wasn’t sure what to do but also noted the irony in the fact that we were both in bed semi-cuddling together and he mentioned thinking the same thing about a goodnight kiss. (He also had made a comment earlier in the night about how his roommate texted him asking him to go out and he responded with “Can’t. On a date.” To which surprised me…we were on a date? I was calling it a “hang” despite the fact I wanted it to be a date…bros don’t date though, do they? And I so could not like him…)

I slept horribly that night for a number of reasons. First off, sleeping with someone is a big deal to me; I’m always very cognizant that there is another person in the room, so close to me and it makes me a little nervous that they could kill me in my sleep. Second, I was sleeping with a boy. A boy that I really liked and wanted to be that close to. Needless to say, I had about twelve panic attacks that night. Plus, it had been a few months since I shared a bed with anyone so this felt strange for that reason as well.

We got up fairly early in the morning so he could go home and get ready for work. We had awesome sex again before he left and as I walked him out we kissed. Again. What. Was. Happening?! In less than twenty-four hours I had tried and liked turkey chili and tried and liked sleeping next to an adorable hipster kid who I loved to banter with (among other things). I never really thought I’d be feeling this way about someone again after what I went through with Lilith…especially a boy (despite having an interest in banging them…)

I got up on the go and got ready to leave town for Thanksgiving dinner. In an effort to hide the evidence of a guest I rounded up his empty beer bottles and places them in the recycling bin in the main lobby of my apartment building. This bothered me for a number of reasons: first I love to recycle and I couldn’t be sure that these bottles would be, second I’m a poor deadbeat so could have used the money I’d get from the bottles and last but not least, I was in my late twenties and going to great lengths to hide the fact that I had someone over on a date  My good buddy (who also needs a name for the purposes of this blog) picked me up and we headed to my parents’ house. I kind of wanted to tell him what was happening because I was happy, confused and wanted to brag that I had had sex four times in less than twenty-four hours. I had asked how his date had gone and it apparently didn’t go well so I decided to keep my recent developments to myself (which was admittedly a relief).

Since this post didn’t include any pizza, I decided to look up a recipe for guacamole pizza (if there was such a thing) and to my surprise there is. I’d substitute the mushrooms with chicken and definitely add cheese but I think this is something I’m definitely going to give a try.  


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